December 8, 2023

🥛 7 Rules of the Road 📖

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GM. This is Milk Road, your daily crypto mixtape. Straight hits only. 

It’s Friday. Let’s boogie:

  • 7 Rules of the Road (Bull Market Edition) 📖

  • Robinhood is launching crypto trading in Europe 🍪


Prices are up. 

The Fear & Greed index has been “Greedy” all week. 

My uncle Vince texted me last night asking about “doggycoin”.

We’re back, baby! 

So today, we figured it’d be a good idea to go over some Rules of the Road. 

Ok, let’s dive in. 

MILK ROAD RULE #1: Protect the bag, at all costs.

It doesn’t matter how much money you make if at the end of the day… you get hacked. 

Simple as that. 

So, you need to do everything you can to NOT let that happen. Here are a few tips:

  • Get a hardware wallet for your most valuable assets.

  • Create separate hot wallets to connect to sites, engage with dApps, etc. (DO NOT KEEP YOUR VALUABLE ASSETS IN YOUR HOT WALLETS)!

  • Double Quadruple check all links before you click ‘em. (If it smells phishy, it probably is).

  • Don’t share your seed phrase. Don’t even take a picture of it. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. 

Hell, don’t even tell people how much crypto you own. 

In the great words of Biggie Smalls

🎵“Rule numbre uno, never let no one know

How much dough you hold, 'cause you know

The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially

If that man f*cked up, get yo' ass stuck up”🎵

Stay safe out there.

MILK ROAD RULE #2: Don’t FOMO blindly.

FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out. And when prices are up, it’s everywhere.  

You look to your right, your neighbor just became a millionaire from kittycatcoin. 

Look to your left, your friend just sold some digital squiggles for $25M.

Suddenly the air around you goes from 78% nitrogen and 21% oxygen → 100% FOMOgen. 

But be careful; don’t chase emotions.

Sometimes the best move is… no move. So don’t just “eat ‘cause you’re bored”.

Lions often wait days before they hunt their next target. And if the King of the Jungle does it, so can you.

MILK ROAD RULE #3: There are no free lunches… but there are airdrops.

One of the coolest parts about crypto is that, just by using products, you have the potential to make money through something called “airdrops”.

Basically, you can get paid for trying different products. And it’s presented a low risk / high return opportunity for those with smaller bankrolls.

Just look at Jito. It’s a DeFi platform on the Solana blockchain that lets you stake SOL

And yesterday, Jito airdropped about $225M worth of tokens to early users. 

Some people got $5,000 just for staking 1 SOL for a few weeks. 

Crazy, I know. The worst part is I heard about Jito a few weeks ago, and… I did nothing. 

(BRB while we go walk on Legos to ease the pain).

The good news is airdrops happen all the time! And there are tools out there (like DeFiLlama) that help keep tabs on future ones. 

MILK ROAD RULE #4: Take profits, not screenshots. 

Some crypto investors remind me of my little sister… whenever we’d go out to eat bomb food, her phone always ate first!

Don’t be like my sister. (If you’re reading this, sorry Tiff).

Take profits and celebrate the wins in your wallet. It matters more there than on Twitter. 

*static noise*

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*static noise*

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming…

MILK ROAD RULE #5: Don’t marry all your bags. 

Sure, there‘s always gonna be a cryptocurrency that you love more than the rest. (If this was the finale of The Bachelor, that token would be 🌹the one🌹).

But don’t end up marrying all your bags. Date around. Try out new tokenships™. 

Some will last weeks or months. Others will be one-night stands. 

MILK ROAD RULE #6: Know when to HODL, know when to fold.

Treat crypto like a game of poker:

  • Treat every move like a calculated risk. 

  • Sometimes you get a sh*tty hand and it’s better to cut your losses. A sh*tty hand in crypto = unexpected hack, regulatory enforcement, etc.

  • You can’t go all-in, all the time.

  • Preserve your chips. Remember: there’s always another hand, but once you run out of chips you go from player → spectator.

You won’t always hit, but stay around long enough and eventually see Pocket Aces.

MILK ROAD RULE #7: Celebrate gains, but prepare for the rain.

It isn’t always gonna be sunshine and rainbows – even in a bull market. 

There will be drawbacks. There will be 50% crashes. The bear is always lurking in the shadows. 

Plan accordingly and always have cash ready to deploy. In crypto, liquidity is king.

Alright – I’m 3 glasses of milk deep and I’ve got to stop before my editor unplugs the computer. 

For all the OGs ready to experience another bull run, may this one be better than the last.

For all the rookies, welcome to the party! 

Let’s learn some sh*t, make some money, and laugh at the stumbles as this thing grows up and goes mainstream. 

Until then, stay thirsty.

-The Milk Man


Robinhood is launching “commission-free crypto trading” in Europe starting next week. Users will have access to more than 25 cryptocurrencies, including BTC, ETH, SOL, and more. 

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is working with asset managers to hammer out “key technical details” for a spot Bitcoin ETF approval. Another step closer…

Tensor has overtaken Magic Eden as the #1 Solana NFT marketplace. Tensor launched less than 12 months ago and already has ~60% of Solana’s NFT trading market share. Ok, rookie! We see you…

Sotheby’s is auctioning off its first Bitcoin Ordinals project. The collection is from the BitcoinShrooms project and will be available to bid on until Dec. 13.

Do Kwon is being extradited to the United States. Kwon is facing criminal fraud charges after Terra’s $40B collapse last year. We’ll cheers to that 🥛

Block opened up pre-orders for its new self-custody Bitcoin wallet. The company's new self-custody wallet consists of an app, hardware device, and recovery tools.






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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.