August 14, 2023

🥛 Everything you need to watch this week 👀

Today’s edition is brought to you by MetaMask Portfolio – buy, swap, bridge, and stake from one simple dApp, backed by the most popular crypto wallet. Control your portfolio, all in one place.

GM. This is Milk Road, the crypto newsletter so bright, sunflowers turn our way.

Here’s what we got today:

  • What you need to look out for this week 👀

  • Sam Bankman-Fried goes to jail 👨‍⚖️

  • $11m+ in “dormant” BTC wakes up over the weekend 🍪

Prices as of 11 AM ET. Click here for our Fear & Greed Index


Everyone knows there’s never a dull moment in crypto. And we have another action-packed week coming up.

It’s gonna be filled with product launches, token unlocks, and retail data. (aka The Holy Trinity of Price Volatility)

  • Shibarium (Shiba Inu’s new blockchain) is set to launch on August 15-16. There are also rumors that centralized exchanges could be listing tokens from the Shiba Inu ecosystem this week.

  • The SEI token is set to go live on August 15. SEI is a new Layer 1 with a lot of hype and major exchanges like Binance and Kraken will be listing the token starting tomorrow.

  • THORChain is launching its new lending protocol. Borrowers can deposit collateral and acquire debt at a market-determined collateralization ratio. New features include zero expiries, zero interest, etc. (P.S. – THORChain’s native token, $RUNE, is up 50% over the last week)

  • Token unlocks: ~$200M worth of tokens will be unlocked this week – including SAND (unlocking 16% of supply), APE (unlocking 4% of supply), INJ, and more.

  • Macro data: Retail sales data and initial jobless claims are being released later this week.

  • Earnings reports: Big retailers like Walmart, Home Depot, etc. have their earnings calls.

The key thing we’ll be keeping a close eye on – retail data. Both sales data and retail earnings have been key in determining trends in consumer spending.

Buckle up Roaders, with all the token unlocks, macro data, and products launching this week we’re forecasting crypto gets hit with the Fog of Uncertainty™.

Tread lightly, there’s a 100% chance of volatility.


Over the past year, centralized exchanges were in the news for all of the wrong reasons: Fraud, commingling customer funds, unregistered securities, and bad hairdos. Okay, the last one is just Sam.

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Ladies and gents, Sam Bankman-Fried has been arrested.

On Friday, a judge ruled SBF violated his bail by:

  • Tampering with witnesses (at least twice).

  • Leaking Caroline Ellison’s private diary to the New York Times. SBF allegedly sent over 100 emails and had over 1,000 phone calls with members of the press.

  • Using a VPN to hide Internet activity.

  • Using Signal to hide communications. SBF frequently used the encrypted messaging app and made the messages “auto-delete” after a certain time.

So what’s next? SBF’s bail was revoked and his wrists were handcuffed – the Crypto Fro is headed to jail.

He’ll be held at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn until his trial begins in October.

P.S. – This needs to be hung up in the Louvre Museum.

P.P.S. – If I ever get a courtroom sketch, I hope they make me look as ripped as SBF. Just look at that shoulder-to-waist ratio.


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$11M+ worth of “dormant” BTC was moved over the weekend. Long naps and big profits – talk about a dynamic duo.

A group of 6 legal scholars filed an amicus brief to support Coinbase in its case against the SEC. Forget about The Avengers, we got The Scholars.

The SEC delayed its decision on Ark Investment’s Bitcoin ETF application. The deadline for the next ruling has been set for November 11, 2023. Til then, it’s a waiting game. Not mad, just disappointed.

Celsius Network announced it’s shutting down its app. R.I.P.

Curve Finance proposed a refund plan after it got hacked for over $62M. Approximately 79% of the stolen funds have been recovered.

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.