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November 12, 2022

🥛SBF on the Run? ✈️

What. A. Night.

Did you think the FTX saga couldn't get any crazier? 

Think again. 

$600m "hack". 

A private jet bound for Argentina.

Buckle up, here's a rundown of everything that happened in the last 24 hours.

#1: FTX GETS "HACKED"

It was Friday night. 

I was sitting on my couch.

My popcorn had just finished "popping".

And I was getting ready to start the Rush Hour movie series. (Needed some good ol' Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan to relieve me from the sh*tshow of a week)

Then I got a text from the Milk Man.

The Milk Man: "Yooo. FTX funds are moving out of wallets. Something sus is going on"

First, he tells me it's $30m. Then $50m. Then…

The Milk Man: "Dude… $600m."

$600m+ GONE!!!. JUST LIKE THAT. *Poof*

The FTX team posted this to their Telegram group…

Here's everything we know so far:

  • FTX was hacked for all of its funds (both FTX US and FTX International)

  • FTX users are reporting their wallet balances show up as $0

  • FTX apps were hacked (P.S – if you still have any, delete them!)

  • FTX site got hacked

I'm no detective but…

The timing of it all.

+ the fact the "hacker" had access to EVERYTHING (wallets, apps, websites, etc).

= an inside job (?)

#2: SAMUEL ON THE RUN?

Twitter was going wild all night long tracking a plane to Argentina.

Why? There's no real proof, but everyone thinks Samuel is on it.

Here's what Twitter is saying:

  • A private jet allegedly tied to Samuel left the Bahamas last night

  • It left right after the FTX hack (coincidence?)

No one knows if it's true.

But would we really be surprised if it was? Not at all. It'd make the movie even better.

Samuel, Do Kwon, Su Zhu, and Kyle Davies are now The Fraudulent Four. 

#3: SAMUEL HAD A "BACKDOOR" FOR FTX

Reuters released a report that Samuel implemented a "backdoor" in FTX's book-keeping system. 

This allowed him to easily move funds & alter financial records, all without alerting people or triggering any internal red flags. 

fkSBF was in God mode. (fkSBF = formerly known as SBF)

Also, fkSBF. 

#4: MORE WEIRD DRUG STORIES

Former FTX employees are leaking stories left & right.

The newest one? Samuel was on a diet, and it wasn't vegan.

It was a Drug Diet. And he tried to get his new employees on it too.

  • Samuel would give presentations on stimulants (+ describe what each one does)

  • Advised employees to "give it a try" and see what works best for them

  • Followed an "optimal dosing schedule" where they'd take stimulants during the day & sleeping pills at night

And in case you think it all sounds too crazy, Samuel openly talked about this back in 2019…

Employees are even reporting that Samuel used a patch that mainlined the stimulants directly into his blood to give him a constant buzz at all times.

It's all starting to make sense. 

You don't typically go from a normal-looking nerd to a goblin that can't sit still unless you're on some strong sh*t.

Remember kids, Just Say No.

#5: ELON GIVES HIS 2 CENTS ON THE SITUATION

It's reported that Samuel offered Elon up to $10B to help buy out Twitter. $10. BILLION. DOLLARS.

Elon didn't take the deal. And yesterday he told us why…

Elon's "Afro-senses" were tingling.

#6: FTX EXECUTIVE GETS OUTED FOR SKETCHY PAST

Daniel Friedburg is FTX's Chief Regulatory Officer.

Daniel also happened to be the lawyer for UltimateBet and Absolute Poker – companies that were caught in massive scandals by robbing customers of their funds in 2008. Sound familiar?

Daniel helped cover it all up.

And now, Daniel is back for the blockbuster sequel, How To Get Away With Fraud Pt II

You really can't make this stuff up. 

#7: FTX & ALAMEDA EXECUTIVES KNEW ABOUT EVERYTHING

WSJ dropped a report this morning stating that some Alameda & FTX executives knew about Samuel's shenanigans. 

From the Chief Technology Officer down to the Director of Engineering. 

MILKY MEMES TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER

Enough bad news. Let's wash it all down with some Milky Memes.

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That's a wrap for today. Stay thirsty & see ya tomorrow!

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.