🥛 The company that doxxed 17M crypto wallets

  • February 2, 2023
  • 4 Min Read

GM. This is the Milk Road, the “be kind” daily newsletter that rewinds all the best moments from crypto.

Here’s what we’ve got for you today:

  • Some Celsius users will get ~94% of money back
  • Nostr & Damus take on Twitter
  • Meet the company that matches crypto wallets to your social media
  • A first for crypto 👀

SOME CELSIUS CUSTOMERS GET SOME MONEY BACK

Oh happy day.

Celsius is returning people’s trapped money to them!

Well…some people. And some money.

The bankrupt crypto lender said eligible users will soon be able to withdraw about 94% of their assets. It listed them all by name in a humongo 1,419-page court filing on Tuesday.

But there’s a catch! (Isn’t there always?) Users and their assets need to qualify as eligible.

Here’s how you qualify:

  • If your assets were less than $7,575
  • You must update your Celsius account with required know-your-customer information
  • If you buried a rabbit’s foot in the depths of a forest on the 9th day of the 4th month during a full moon (jk)

Get this though: you’ve gotta factor in transaction and gas fees for your withdrawals, because if those fees are higher than the value of the eligible assets you have trapped, you don’t qualify to withdraw.

Bit of a bummer.

Celsius said eligible users will be notified around Feb. 15, which is when they can start the withdrawal process.

The bankruptcy court will decide eventually when/if/how Celsius users can get the remaining 6% of their assets.

TODAY'S EDITION IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY METAMASK LEARN

MetaMask Learn is an educational and entertaining platform designed to immerse you in the world of web3— what it is, why it matters, and how to get started.

You will learn core concepts in fresh and engaging lessons from the world’s leading self-custodial wallet. 

MetaMask Learn is for you if: 

  • You’ve been interested in web3 but just don’t know where to start 
  • You’ve bought some crypto on an exchange but don’t know what to do with it 
  • You still don’t understand web3 principles because they’ve been too jargon-heavy
  • You want to know what the fuss about web3 really is 
  • You just want to keep up with your friends who babble about this new digital era and its possibilities

The list could go on. But at its core, Learn is designed for anyone who wants to take the leap to explore uncharted waters.

At a self-moderated pace, you can jump into any and all lessons that interest you, interact with features in the simulation, and experience those satisfying “ah-ha” moments when you finally grasp important concepts.

As you may have heard, crypto wasn’t created to make you rich, it was created to set you free. And we like to think freedom is fun.

Dive in now!

NOSTR, DAMUS, & JACK DORSEY WALK INTO A BAR

Doth the townsfolk know of a new Twitter alternative in the market square? Cuz there’s a new Twitter alternative on the market.

The new app is called Damus and it lives on a decentralized network called Nostr, which enables end-to-end private messaging. 

Nostr…hosts…Damus

Maybe the French astrologer predicted other DeFi projects, not just the rise of cryptocurrencies.

Anywho, here’s why we’re talking about this:

  • Damus has been dubbed a “Twitter killer” (like hundreds before it)
  • It just launched on the Apple App Store & the Google Play Store
  • It’s supposed to be censorship-resistant, since it doesn’t have Twitter-like oversight, and it’s run via decentralized relays; not servers
  • It doesn’t have a 280-character post limit
  • There’s built-in payment already via the Bitcoin layer 2 lightning network

Some recognizable figures like Edward Snowden, Ethereum prince Vitalik Buterin, and Washington’s “Crypto Queen” U.S. Sen. Cynthia Lummis have already been using it in testing.

Snowden tweeted that Nostr “replaces things like Twitter and Instagram.

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It also has support from a key figure in both the social media and crypto spaces: lover of beards, models, and tie dye, Jack Dorsey.

The Twitter cofounder posted that Damus’s launch is “a milestone for open protocols” and he dropped a cool 14 BTC ($250,000 at the time) to the Nostr dev team in December.

And guess what Nostr and Dorsey’s old company has in common? Both platforms’ mascots are birds.

May I present to ye, lords & ladies, the Nostrich.

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MEET THE COMPANY THAT MATCHES CRYPTO WALLETS TO TWITTER ACCOUNT

Everyone loses one thing when they first enter crypto… their money identity. You see, as soon as you enter the doors of the crypto club you’re given a mask…

It’s called a wallet address. It hides your name, age, social media, pimples, etc. It becomes your new identity. 

Now, a new company called Addressable has raised $7.5M in order to match wallet addresses to social media accounts. It claims to have successfully matched 17M crypto wallets to their Twitter accounts. (In other words, “f*ck it, mask off”.)

How it works: Addressable looks at various data points across blockchain activity that can be correlated with social media activity. It claims it analyzed 500M+ wallets and 100M+ social media accounts in order to do the match. (Btw - It’s hard to verify the numbers here so JPMorgan should stay away, just in case.)

The goal? Make marketing more efficient. In real-world marketing, knowing your audience is everything. In crypto marketing, it’s damn near impossible to know the audience. 

Addressable claims it’s solving that problem by giving companies better data that can help them target audiences that are more likely to try certain products/services.

Why this matters: While crypto marketers around the world are rejoicing (sellers gotta sell, right?) many crypto users aren’t too happy with the concept. And that’s because… 

Anonymity in crypto isn’t a “problem”, it’s a choice. Sure, some people might not care if their crypto identity is tied to their social media accounts. But many do care. And now their info could be exposed. 

It’s kinda like showing up to a masquerade party and slapping a sticker on everybody that says “Hi, my name is ____. Kick me”.

MILK AND COOKIES

Toyotathon → Hackathon. The automotive giant is partnering up with Astar to support their inaugural Web3 hackathon.The goal? Develop the first proof-of-concept DAO tool for Toyota employees to help make operations more efficient. 

A first for crypto! Hamilton Lane has launched the crypto tokenized crypto fund to make private market funds available to a broader set of investors. More people can invest and the minimum investment amount drops from $5M → $20K. 

One step closer to unstaking. Ethereum developers launched a testnet that let users simulate staked ETH withdrawals ahead of the big Shanghai update coming up later this year. The simulation helped users get used to withdrawal features and developers could monitor usage for any potential issues. It was practice before game day.

Subpoenas on subpoenas. FTX debtors have requested subpoenas for Samuel Bankman-Fried’s inner circle to provide documents and info for the ongoing investigations. SBF’s mom, dad, bro, dog, and pet hamster have all been requested to be subpoenaed. Jk on the last two…

MILKY MEME

🤣🤣

That's a wrap for today. Stay thirsty & see ya tomorrow! If you want more, be sure to follow our Twitter (@MilkRoadDaily)

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.

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    Milk ManWriter

    This dashing dairy expert is not just your average milkman. He's a tri-athlete, a former classmate of Satoshi Nakamoto, and a crypto enthusiast who loves nothing more than delivering the freshest news and insights straight to your inbox.