September 23, 2022

🥛JP Morgan’s CEO: “Bitcoin is a decentralized ponzi”

GM. This is the Milk Road. The daily newsletter that guides you through crypto like a Garmin GPS.

“In 400ft, we’re all gonna make it”

Here’s what we got for ya today:

  • JP Morgan's CEO: "Bitcoin is a decentralized Ponzi”

  • Funding Friday

  • Meme of the Day


Jamie Dimon (CEO of JP Morgan) dropped some bombs at a Congressional hearing yesterday. And it was about his favorite subject…

Crypto. Here’s what he had to say when asked about it & his skepticism:

Talk about a contradiction. First of all, what does "a decentralized Ponzi" even mean?

Sounds like an oxymoron if you ask me. And Jamie sure put the moron in oxymoron on this one.

Secondly, Jamie says Bitcoin isn’t good for anybody, but JP Morgan…. *checks notes*….

  • Made Bitcoin funds available to institutional clients

  • Said Bitcoin was undervalued by 28% earlier this year in May

  • Has built its own crypto trading platform

The cherry on top? Jamie ended his rant on crypto tokens by talking about JP Morgan's crypto token, JPM Coin.

You can't make this shit up. I’ve lost track of how many times Jamie has switched sides. He flip flops more than Benedict Arnold.


It’s Friday! Which means it’s time to give you a rundown of Web3 companies that got funded this week.

We saw ~$650M get invested into crypto companies & funds throughout the week. Here’s who got the money:

Immunefi got $24m for their Web3 bug bounty platform.

LearnWeb3 got $1.25m to build an education platform for new Web3 developers.

Immortal Games got $12m for a play-to-earn Chess platform. Too bad I’m more of a checkers kinda guy.

Random Games got $7.6m to build blockchain games. The founder is also the creator of Grand Theft Auto.

Messari got $35M for their crypto data analytics platform. Congrats to the Messari team!

If you wanna check out the complete database of companies that have raised money in 2022, we got 'em for you right here.


I’ve always wanted to own one thing: a baseball team.

And now I do. It might not be the Yankees, but I don't have to spend billions of dollars and can still create my dream team.

Introducing The Milk Road Sluggers. It’s the official Milk Road Sorare: MLB team.

Sorare is a digital entertainment platform where you collect digital player cards and play those cards in a free-to-play fantasy sports game where you compete weekly for rewards.

In case you missed it, we’re going on a 6-week journey to test out Sorare to see how fun it is!

Now we’re back for Week 3. But first, the results from our first tournament…and I won’t lie to you. It got ugly for the Milk Road Sluggers.

Out of 32,734 contestants, we placed 10,190th. That’s the bad news.

The good news? The tournament we entered gives everyone a prize. Even the person that finished in 32,734th place got something.

The better you place, the better your reward is – i.e if you finish Top 3 you get a free Tier 1 player card like Aaron Judge, Clayton Kershaw, Mike Trout, etc.

We ended up getting Jose Berrios (a Tier 3 player) as our prize card. Not the best, but still pretty cool that I got a reward. It made 10,000th place a little bit better.

Now it's time to hit the markets. Sorare gives you two options to get new digital player cards:

  • bid for newly released player cards on the primary market (auction style)

  • buy them from other owners on the secondary market.

If you want an opportunity at getting good cards, for cheap – the auction is the way to go. If you want to build your team fast, buying on the secondary is the way to go.

Inflation is up, so we went with the cheaper route – auctions. But after losing 3 straight it was clear we weren't made for this. 3 strikes and you’re out!

So we hit the secondary market and went on a little shopping spree. We bought a handful of new player cards like Justin Verlander, Manny Machado, and Ke'Bryan Hayes.

Time to enter a new tournament. Because we expanded our collection, we’re eligible to enter a new tournament….The Limited Pro.

It’s similar to the previous tournament with one big difference: it's a much smaller pool of participants, but better prizes. The Top 100 all get Rare player cards.

We’ll keep you updated on how well the squad does and what rewards we end up winning next week!

Wanna join in on the action & compete with the Milk Road Sluggers? Start building your team and claim your FREE pack here!


That's a wrap for this week. Stay thirsty & see ya next week!

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.