December 9, 2022

🥛Samuel testifying in D.C.? 👀

GM. This is the Milk Road. The daily crypto newsletter that packs as much punch & humor as Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in Rush Hour.

(PSA – The Milk Road prayers have been heard – Rush Hour 4 is in the making.)

Here's what we got today:

  • FTX & Alameda Update

  • ConstitutionDAO Round 2

  • Funding Friday

  • Milky Memes


I know what you’re thinking…the FTX/Alameda saga has been quiet lately.

A little too quiet.

Well, this week there were 7 new pieces to the future Netflix film. Here’s the 90-second rundown:

1/ The Financial Times leaked Alameda’s venture capital investments

We got a peek into everything.

The craziest part? They invested $5.4b into 500 companies (the FTX500?)

They invested in stuff like:

  • FTX's own investors like Sequoia Capital and SkyBridge Capital

  • Elon Musk's SpaceX and Boring Company

  • A whole bunch of random stuff like video game studios, betting platforms, online banks, a fertility clinic, a military drone maker, and a vertical farming company.

At least they diversified?

2/ Samuel & Caroline are lawyering up

Samuel reportedly hired Mark Cohen – a lawyer that has defended people like Ghislaine Maxwell and El Chapo.

Caroline reportedly hired Preet Bharara – a lawyer that helped bust Raj Rajaratnam and Galleon Group's insider trading, Bernie Madoff's bankers at JPMorgan, and convicted Al Qaeda.

Talk about heavy hitters. This is Godzilla vs. King Kong. Mike Tyson vs. Muhammed Ali. Batman vs. Superman.

And it looks like things are headed for a big legal battle between SBF and Caroline.

From lovers to stars in your next episode of Judge Judy.

3/ FTX reportedly offered $100M to Taylor Swift to sponsor the brand.

I repeat, $100 MILLION. That’s NBA superstar money.

Despite the big bag, the pop star told Samuel they were never ever getting (back) together.

4/ FTX paid Kevin O'Leary $15m to be a spokesperson

Yesterday, Mr. Wonderful revealed that he received $15m to be an FTX spokesperson. The bad news for him? He never took it off the platform.

From $15m -> $0. Ouch.

The crazy part? Kevin said he would still invest in Samuel’s next company.

5/ NFTs on FTX have gone missing

FTX dropped NFTs for Coachella, Steph Curry, and F1's Lewis Hamilton.

Now, they've all disappeared into thin air.

When you click the direct links to your FTX NFTs, it sends you to a restructuring page with information on the bankruptcy.

The rugs continue to be pulled.

6/ Samuel's parents will not be teaching at Stanford

Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried are Samuel’s parents. And they've been law professors at Stanford since 1988.

And just like their son's company, it's all coming to an end.

Mr. and Mrs. Bankman were both scheduled to teach at the university next quarter but were taken off the register’s list.

They better go put Samuel in timeout or something.

7/ Samuel says he will testify in D.C. on Dec. 13th

Get your popcorn ready. Samuel's testimony is sure to be a classic.


Wanna know the secret to NFTs? Buy cheap listings before anyone else. Duh.

But there’s a problem: to stay ahead of other traders you need 20 tabs open and need to stay glued to your screen at all times. You end up feeling like this…

Introducing Infinity – the world’s first automated NFT trading engine. It fulfills buy orders on a first-come, first-serve basis by sourcing liquidity from all major marketplaces like OpenSea and x2y2.

With Infinity, you can:

  • Specify your buy orders via our fluid UI

  • Set collection-wide & multi collection-wide offers

  • Get rewards for trading NFTs on the marketplace

It’s as simple as that. Say goodbye to staring at screens all day, and say hello to Infinity.

Be sure to follow them on Twitter and join their Discord to be the first to know about our upcoming release that will change NFT trading forever.


Check it out. ConstitutionDAO is back.

That’s right. Crypto is trying to buy the Constitution… [again].

Last year, the original ConstitutionDAO was created. They built up a ton of hype and raised $40m+ in 7 days to place a bid to buy a copy of the Constitution.

In the end, they lost the auction to Ken Griffin (Citadel CEO) and his $43.2m bid. Crypto got KennyG’d.

Now it's time for Round 2. But this time, things are a little different:

  • There’s a new team. This time, a separate group of 16 organizations called Unum DAO is working together to buy the Constitution

  • NFTs are being used to raise money. People that want to contribute to the cause can buy 1 of 4 NFTs (the tiers are Citizen, Representative, Senator, and Executive)

  • Treasury won’t be disclosed until after the auction is done. Last year, everyone knew exactly how much $$ ConstitutionDAO had raised. Including Ken Griffin. Which let him know how much to bid to win the auction (Not this time, Kenny)

  • ConstitutionDAO2 has a new goal – create a decentralized collection of civic artifacts. The Constitution would be the first piece to the puzzle

The auction will be held live at Sotheby’s auction house in New York on Dec. 13. And it has all the ingredients for a redemption story.

But the jury’s still out on if ConstitutionDAO2 can be successful…

Can they raise another $40m?

Will Kenny G spoil the fun again?

Hell. Who knows. The Milk Man might even just crash the party, pull a Nicholas Cage, and steal the whole thing.


Each Friday we give you a rundown of Web3 companies that got funded during the week.

This week, we saw ~$54m get invested into crypto companies & funds. Here’s who got the money:

Gridless got $2M to mine Bitcoin in Africa. Jack Dorsey is leading the investment.

Shibuya got $6.9M to create a Web3 content studio and creator platform. And pplpleasr (the founder) wanted everyone to know she intentionally raised $6.9m.

Metagood got $5M to develop an "NFT for social good" platform. The goal? To bring causes & communities together.

Bitwave got $15M to build accounting & tax software for crypto & other digital assets. It’s the Turbo Tax of Crypto.

Perennial got $12M for their DeFi derivatives protocol.

If you wanna check out the complete database of companies that raised money in 2022, we got 'em for you right here.


That's it for today. Stay thirsty & see ya next time! If you want more, be sure to follow our Twitter (@MilkRoadDaily)




Click here to fill out this survey and we'll get back to you soon!

DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.